Max
14 years, 8 months & 10 days ago
16th Aug 2009 18:31 The day that Max was born, strange things were happening. Somewhere, a frog turned into a prince, a cat was let out of a bag. Somewhere, a rolling stone caught some moss, the early bird didn???t catch the worm. Somewhere, a watched pot boiled and a king set down his crown. All of this probably accounts for the fact that Max was so strange. But we can never be too sure.
Max learned to speak early in life. In fact, the minute the doctors laid the infant in his mother???s arms after being delivered, Max said in perfect English, ???Hello, mother. My name is Max.??? This made his mother scream and run out of the hospital room without her son.
The doctors were, naturally, surprised for something like this had never occurred before in the history of the world as far as they knew and certainly not in that hospital.
After his mother ran out of the room he looked about him and realized that he was wrapped in a blanket and he wasn???t wearing any clothes at all. His face turned a slight shade of red and he said politely to the doctors gaping at him, ???Um, I seem to be???well, I???m not wearing anything but this blanket. Would one of you be so kind as to hand me a pair of clothes, please????
The nurse, unsure of how to respond to a baby being so polite, slowly handed him one of the outfits that his mother had received at her baby shower. The outfit was a white shirt with a blue elephant face on it and blue shorts.
???Thank you,??? Max said. The nurse just nodded. Max began lowering the blue blanket when he realized all the doctors and nurses were still gaping at him.
???I don???t mean to be rude, but I am about to uncover myself and get dressed. Would you all mind turning your backs to me while I do this????
The nurse had the courage to ask, ???Do you need any help????
???No, I think I???ve got it. But thank you for offering.???
???Yeah???.sure???.no problem,??? the nurse said as she slowly turned her back with the other two doctors.
Max put on the baby outfit and then told the doctors they could look at him again which they did rather quickly.
???This outfit is a little embarrassing for me to wear but I suppose you don???t have any others????
???There???s a pink one,??? the nurse said. She was getting a little used to the idea of his talking. Even if he did sound like a fully grown Englishman and not like a baby.
???Oh, no. This will be fine, thank you,??? Max said quickly.
???How???how???how are you talking???? One of the doctors finally asked.
???The same way you are I suppose. Have any of you seen my mother? I think she forgot me.???
The three adults in the room pointed to the hallway and they watched as Max climbed off the bed and walked out to his mother.
???There! There he is!??? screamed his mother to a man that she was sitting with.
???You must be my father,??? Max said and offered his hand to the gentleman.
???What did you tell my wife your name was?????? The man asked almost angrily.
???Max.???
???Your name is not Max.???
???Yes, it is.???
???No, it???s Thomas. That???s what we decided your name was going to be if you were a boy.???
???Well, I???m sorry to disappoint you but my name is Max.???
???Thomas.???
Well, after everyone, including his parents were over the shock, they agreed to take Max home with them. It did take a while to understand that the only baby thing about him was his looks. The realization came gradually. For example, his parents weren???t quite sure what to do when Max refused to stay in the church nursery ever again after trying it once, saying that leaving him in there was an insult to his intelligence and that he would much rather sit in the sermon with them than hang around with what others called his peers. They let him try the service and to their amazement he sat through the whole thing, perfectly silent in his own chair and even sang the songs with the rest of the congregation and his parents were astonished to learn that he even took notes.
One day, when he was six months old, Max approached his parents about school.
???You???re too young,??? his mother said.
???No, I???m not. There shouldn???t be an age barrier. If I can do it, let me.???
So, his parents signed him up and almost passed out when they found that he could skip four grades. Needless to say, Max was happy with that opportunity and you can guess how long it took the teachers and students to get used to having a baby attend the school.
Max was a fast learner and soon progressed to high school. When he was 3, he learned to drive so he could get a job. He bought his first car at age four. At four and one half, he got accepted at Harvard University and made a wonderful career as the mayor of his hometown. When he was 8, he became President of the United States. Everyone he knew was very proud of him and he never ceased to amaze his parents, one of which never stopped calling him Thomas even though he was constantly reminded that his son???s name was Max.
So, who knew why Max could talk the second he was born? Who knew why he was so smart? My best guess is that strange things happened the day Max was born.
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