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Candeh

Activity Log

awful

10th Dec 2010 19:23

15 years, 7 months & 16 days ago

YUR MOMMM

30th Jan 2009 16:18

17 years, 5 months & 27 days ago

Candeh 2 Comments

awful

15 years, 7 months & 16 days ago

10th Dec 2010 19:23

The first day at the hell I was placed into upon force began with following the principal of this jail through the corridor. He was tall, but not at all slim. Almost his entire head was balding, except for thin tufts of hair above his ears. He had a snobby look upon his face; as if he thought as though I wasn't worthy of attending his school. However he sounded rather welcoming, while he tried to carry conversation, while leading the path. His arms gestured different classrooms, and art displays. I couldn't care to listen, the thought that I would be able to convince my parents to move me back still lingered in my mind.
My mind was clouded with thoughts of the people I left behind, wondering if they missed me, or were thinking about me at that moment. Mr. Cameron stopped with a halt in front of a classroom door, and knocked. I gazed in through the small window in the wooden door. I prepared myself for the worst. The door openened to reveal a middle aged woman, her long brown hair flowed around her face, she greated me with a smile, " Hi there, welcome to our school! Come in and introduce yourself. " I returned the smile and followed her to the front of the class.
You know when you feel so lost, so miserable, and out of place, that you wish you could just give up everything, and simply blend into the bland, boring, paint colour smeared across the concrete block walls. That's exactly how I felt. All eyes were on me, which was the last thing I wanted. Being there was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to be back where I belonged. That was all the past now. I was going to have to learn to interact with these people. From the looks of the people that surrounded me, it wasn't going to be easy. The teacher; I hadn't yet caught her name, stood before the class and told them that I was a new student. I took a deep breath, preparing to speak. " Hi, I'm Adriana, " I paused, considering what else I was supposed to say.
At that moment, I looked around the room once more, still, all eyes were on me, some students wispering. I was never one for first impressions, I thought to myself. I had thought that I had been mentally prepared for this, I was the one who thought I was the strong one. I'll toughen up, I thought. I'm the type to bottle up everything, never share anything with anybody. The memories crept back again. The faces of my old life appeared in my head, vivid as ever. I fought the tears that welled up in my eyes, I couldn't cry, not now. I began to walk to an empty desk behind an over, a wide grin spread across his face. Oh, great. I thought, I smiled
" Oh, hi there, " I replied, and tried to look happy.
The next nine minutes were filled with smiles and awkward eye contacts from every angle of my vision. My eyes kept traveling to one person. He sat directly across from me, and his gaze never left my direction. Until I returned his gaze, it was then when his eyes shot directly to the floor, and turned around in his desk imediately. Have you ever wondered what people were thinking, when they looked at you? That thought came to mind a lot that day.
People continuously approached me, asking me if I was enjoying myself, but the tone they chose to use while questioning me displayed sarcasm. I couldn't stand being asked if I was okay, at this point, I didn't even want to put effort into faking a smile, it wasn't worth it; I had noone to impress here. I'm too quiet and shy; so disconnected and trapped. I've got all these negative thoughts which are permanately lodged into the back of my mind, but maybe over time it will slowly fade away. I'm hoping that I'll eventually grow used to this place. Maybe soon, maybe not for a while, but eventually.
I had forced the thought into my head that this would be good, that a new city, a new school would be a good thing. I thought that maybe, a clean slate would be something fine for me. I was wrong, it's the opposite of fine. I tore apart at the seams, and I wasn't going to be able to stitch myself up by myself. I needed something new. Somebody to help fix the damaged person that I am. I had those people. I had my old life, my old friends. I was forced to leave them; everything.
I snapped out of it. Focus. I reminded myself. I had to focus. I followed the over weight boy to our next class. Every step he took, I was directly behind him, hoping not to get lost in the crowd. I kept my head facing the ground, to avoid more unwanted eye-contact

Euphoria

This is very confusing.
Your plot seems very confused, but it's a good start.
You try to use literary hooks in the middle of the writing (I.E. "Have you ever wondered what people were thinking, when they looked at you?" ) and your grammar distracts me a lot.
It seems like a good rough copy though.