female comebacks - I read this and found most of them hilarious.
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
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Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
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Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
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Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
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Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
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Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
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Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today
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Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
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Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
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If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this....
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If you don't resend this then your love life will be [[doomed]] for eternity.
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CHICKS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
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DUDES REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen"

You know how boring school is!!! so i found out some things to do in class when you are really, REALLY bored
Speak in improper English like ain???t, and when the teacher corrects, nod like you understand and continue to speak improperly.
2.Randomly get out of your seat and sit on the floor.
3.When it is very quiet, raise your hand and insist it is too loud.
4.If the person next to you is quiet, turn and inform them that they are distracting you.
5.When the teacher calls on you to answer the question, answer `Two ???
6.Randomly raise your hand and say ???The answer is three ???
7.Give your teacher a note that uses improper English and misspelled words. Have the note insisting that you are `the most bestest??? in the class and demand to be moved up.
8.During a test, tell the teachers `the voices??? are making you cheat
9.Color red dots all over your arm and show the teacher, and tell her/him that you are allergic to School.
10.Talk about the road kill squirrel you saw on your way to school. Say that it is your dinner. Talk in a redneck voice.
11.Take out sock puppets and play with them, and occasionally have them grab your classmate???s hair. When the teacher looks, keep the sock on your hand and point to your classmate and tell the teacher that the classmate is attacking you with puppets
12.If your teacher walks around the room during the test, cover your test and glare at them suspiciously.
13.If your teacher walks around the room during a test, raise your hand and tell the teacher that they are cheating off you.
14.When the teacher calls on you to answer a question, talk in a creepy voice and say `I???ll never tell??? and a few questions later raise your hand and ask why you haven???t been allowed to answer a question yet.
15.Ask to go to the bathroom. Stay in your seat, and when asked if you are going, say `I just did???
16.Raise your hand and point to a person on the other side of the room. Insist that that person is cheating off you.
17.Say that someone across the room is using their telepathic (mind-reading) abilities to cheat off of you.
18.Ask to go to the bathroom. Get up and walk into the wall. Furrow your brow, glare at the wall and walk into it again. Smile sheepishly and then walk out the door.
19.When coming back from bathroom, walk through the door. Then ask how you got there.
20.Raise your hand and ask if you can be excused to skip class.

Copy, Paste, Don???t look at
the bottom
before you do the thing or it won???t
work!
This is scary but pretty accurate.

1. Which color is better red,
black,green,blue or yellow?



2. What???s your middle initial?



3. What month is your birthday?


4. Which color do you like more, black
or white?




5. Name one of your friends.


6. Your favorite number?



7. Do you like flying or driving more?


8. Do you like a lake or the ocean
more?



9. Think of a wish, but don???t write it
>>WISHING<<

<>
<<>>
<<<>>>
<<<<>>>>
<<<<<>>>>>
<<<<<<>>>>>>
<<<<<<<>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<>>>>>>>
<<<<<>>>>>>
<<<<>>>>
<<<>>>
<<>>
<>



???Answers???

1. If you chose:
Red: You are alert and your life is
full of love.

Black: You are conservative and
aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you
are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love
kisses and affection from the ones you
love and give good advice to those who
are down.

Yellow - you are a very happy person..

2. If you???re initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and
friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy your life to the
maximum & your love life is soon to
blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your
future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will go very well
for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone tot

Read this

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny,
are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted t