Birth parents found!

My ex-husband was adopted at birth. He never wanted to find his birth parents. It wasn't until our daughter has grown up that it seemed important.

For several years my mom had a theory that an aunt of his might be his real mother. She (my mom) died a couple years ago without ever knowing for sure. My daughter & I have tossed around how we might determine the answer. In the meantime, I got interested in deeper genealogy and did the Ancestry DNA test. Then my daughter decided she wanted to do it also. We thought it might shed some light on our theory.

In prep for the results I made her a family tree with her adoptive family as a starting point. When we got the results she actually matched a set of her great great grandparents. Actually she matched with someone whose shared the same set. Anyway, we thought we were on the right path.

Then as I learned more about how the DNA measures work and looked at her matches I noticed she had 20-25 matches that had a common surname. One match was quite significant and had to be rather close in relationship. Eventually we found an adoption searcher who has a rare set of original birth indexes for the state in question. For $300 she would tell us the maiden name of the birth mother and last name of the supposed father. We felt it was worth it. By morning we had our answer. It was not the aunt.

The mother's maiden name was listed as Ledd, father's last name as Marchian. So I started looking for families with the Ledd last name. Turns out that name if very uncommon. So I thought maybe it was transcribed wrong and tried Ladd instead. Yes, that was it. So I searched the genealogy sites and found a possible couple with the names. I put them in a new family tree. I got a new set of matches to the maternal line. But the common name from the previously mentioned group wasn't from the mother. Therefore had to be from the father.

With the '2nd cousin' range match, I was able to determine that this one couple had to be my ex's grandparents. That left me to figure which one of their sons was the father. One was deceased, one out there somewhere and I found one on Facebook. This one jumped out at me. He looked like my ex. Alot!. I continued to search the internet. I found a lady who had posted on a genealogy forum way back in 2001 looking for one of the brothers. What caught my eye was her last name. It was the same as the 2nd cousin match. So I found her on Facebook too and messaged her. Her profile pic is an old photo of her as a young girl. She looked just like my daughter at the same age. Turns out the fellow on Facebook is her father. She had also been adopted and was at the time searching for her dad. Also turns out that the 2nd cousin match is actually her son.

During the same time, I was working at making contact with the birth mother's family. It worked out quite well as I contacted what turned out to be a great grandson of the birth mother. When I messaged him, he happened to be on the phone with his mother, a granddaughter to the birth mother. She wanted to speak to me, so I called her. She was very emotional. She had been raised by her and told me she had always hoped her baby boy would look for her. A few days later, the sister and I texted back and forth. I got a photo of his mom and he also looks like her. The sister seemed skeptical for a bit. She said she had a couple aunts who'd also given babies up to adoption and maybe my ex was one of theirs. My ex had been told he had 4 siblings and their father was in jail when he was conceived. The sister confirmed that her dad indeed had been in jail at the time. She said she remembered a man staying with them for a little while, when she was about 8. She said his name was Carl. Her age would be in the right time period and I asked her if the name might be Carrol. She said yes it may have been. I sent her a photo of the fellow from college and she said that it looked like the same guy.

So I was sharing this with the other lady. She in turn told her dad about all of this and sent some photos. He said it was interesting. A day or two later he told her he was the father. But it was all a shock and he needed time to gather his thoughts.

So the lady who's profile photo looked like my daughter is indeed her aunt! My ex-husband's half sister. I had an extra DNA test so I sent it to her so we can confirm. Both families are happy.

The sticky part is we still need to tell my daughter's dad. His adoptive parents and grandparents are all dead now. He really doesn't have much family save an adopted sister and an uncle and two aunts. So now he has the chance to have a dad again. I really hope he is open to this wonderful opportunity!

There's been alot of coincidences. The new half sister
s name is nearly the same as mine. We are in the same profession. That's just a couple.

So the ex had a total of 6 siblings, two have died. But he has a brother and sister alive from both sides. His birth mother is dead. I hope he will be happy to know he wasn't unwanted by his birth mom. She wanted to keep him but her husband said no. So, mother nature decided to make sure he wouldn't forget it. My ex was born on his birthday!