I don't expect anybody to read this,its just for me to read every time i feel like remembrance of hurt i guess...:/ for my ex of 8 months who i truly can't get over, my two best friend read it and cried
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I remember the day you asked me out the day I had to debate in my choice. Something about you drew me so close and but I truly thought we would never last, because in my eyes you were always the rude one. Every day I grew closer and closer to you, more and more in love, I never thought we would make it as far as we had. Than I just fell in complete love with you. Each day that went by I grew more and more confident whenever I was around you I grew less self conscious I nearly forgot about my past. But there was always a empty part of me a part I hoped you could understand, I always wondered if you ever would understand. I wanted you here but a part of me knew it would never happen, I knew I was giving you all of me and yet still knew eventually it was going to end, even when you kept telling me, kept saying what I wanted to hear. You kept saying ???No??? like it was your duty. I was so scared you would find someone so much better. You always told me you loved me and that you were never leaving. But something truly happened I never understood it. I still do not understand it, why you stopped loving me. I never had been in love with someone as much as you had let me love someone, never in my whole life. When we took a break, a part of me knew it was over the other, part of me knew I had to let time take over, and if it was not meant for us to be together than that???s the way it should stay. However, I knew I did not want that, I knew I could not handle it. Now I am a horrible mess. A few months after we split I asked if you still loved me, you told me ???Yes??? but I find out a few weeks later that your with someone new, how the hell do you think that makes me feel? At the time before I found out I simply did not know what I should wonder, my thoughts were mumbled, I did not know if it was a to be lie or if you truly did love me. Another question still races through my head, every single day. Did you ever really love me? When I was sick you took care of me, told me you would not leave my side. You never really made me unhappy, you sometimes made me mad. But truthfully you were actually the one thing that rarely could make me, or did make me happy. I kept wondering after October if it was really over. I kept asking myself, has it rea
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