Sign Up
 
Log In
761 Players Online
15:03:06 MST
Marapets is mobile friendly
Marapets is mobile friendly
jkhds1
female comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
....
...
..
.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
.
..
...
....
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
....
...
..
.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
....
...
..
.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
.
..
...
....
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
....
...
..
.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
.
..
...
....
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today
....
...
..
.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
.
..
...
....
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
....
...
..
.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
.
..
...
....
If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this....
....
...
..
.
If you don't resend this then your love life will be [[doomed]] for eternity.
.
..
...
....
CHICKS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
....
...
..
.
DUDES REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen
Keep reading →
jkhds10
jkhds123 May 20090comments
I'm through with standin in line
To clubs I'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the nineth
And I'm never gonna win
This life just hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be

(tell me what you want)

I want a brand new house
On an episode of cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub
Big enough for ten plus me

(so what ya need)

I need a a credit card thats got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

(been there done that)

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine with me

(so how ya gonna do it)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
Livin in top houses
Drivin fifteen cars
The girls come easy
And the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny
Cuz we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy Bunny
With their bleach blond hair

And well...
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up broccoli is sooo cools
Sign a couple autographs
so I can eat my meals for free

(I'll have a quesadilla haha)

I'm gonna dress my ass
with the latest fashions
Get a front door key to the Playboy Mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
blow my money for me

(so how ya gonna do it)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
Livin in top houses
Drivin fifteen cars
The girls come easy
And the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny
Cuz we just won't eat
And we'll hangout at the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold diggers
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy Bunny
With their bleach blond hair

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and
Keep reading →
jkhds10
jkhds125 Sep 200810comments
i read dis and thier sad. i almost cryed and it takes alot to make me cry. i will post this but it IS sad :disappointed: <=( ='( SO SAD!!!Story #1

Take time to read this!

Her hair was up in a pony tail,

her favorite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy's Day at school,

and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,

that she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand,

if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;

she knew just what to say.

What to tell her classmates

of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,

for her to face this day alone.

And that was why once again,

she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school

eager to tell them all.

About a dad she never sees;

a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently,

anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,

every child turned to stare.

Each of them was searching,

for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"

she heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one,"

another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,

she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad,

too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,

as she smiled up at her Mom.

And looked back at her teacher,

who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,

slowly she began to speak.

And out from the mouth of a child,

came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,

because he lives so far away.

But I know he wishes he could be,

since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,

I wanted you to know.

All about my daddy,

and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories

he taught me
Keep reading →
jkhds10
jkhds16 Sep 20087comments