"Ze doktor eez in." Doktor Drakon Dualcrest, PhD, MD, MBA, Esq. is, as to be expected from his many suffixes, a jack of all trades. The Esquire suffix is no joke; the Doktor was also a Lawyer AND a knight's apprentice! After being university-bound for decades, however, Dualcrest went insane.

Now at least somewhat sane, Doktor Dualcrest spends the majority of his time researching cures to pretty much everything. Though his treatments sound somewhat questionable, the vast majority of them have had at the very least minor success.

How can you cure Marapox by having the patient listen to the instrumental version of All Star by Smash Mouth on loop nonstop for 16 hours, 54 minutes, and 45 seconds? MAD SCIENCE!