Hey there, I'm doing a rewrite and I'm having a really hard time coming up with an effective opening sentence. Every one on Mara is extremely helpful with my writing questions so I thought I would ask opinions on this opening sentence.
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"The freedom, the thrill,the moment of awe-inspiring rebellion; it all ended with the spirit-crushing crunch of concrete biting into metal and glass."

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So that's it. Do you like/hate it? Does it hook you? Is it too vague/ too detailed? Do you think it's too wordy? Is there a way you would rearrange/reword it? I've written and re-written it so many times that I no longer have the eye to critique it XD Oh and did I use the semi-colon properly?

Thanks in advance,

Rehtse