When the moon is out, the wolves comeout to play, when the sun is up the moon is down. With stars high up into the sky, the beauty of outer space is everywhere, with shower of stars. To the drifting astriods drifting around outer space.
When the stars are glistenings it's like light that's shining brightly in outer space. But there are the dark sides of outer space, with the black hole, it maybe dark and scary but it's so beautiful with on how it keeps on sucking on items that drift towards it. When space rockets are in space exploring the beauty of outer space they will one day realize on how beautiful it is to live in outer space.
Firestar18
Thank you Eric, I've changed the word one to moon =P. I was really bored when I wrote it so it was something random from my brain lol.
115 years, 10 months & 9 days ago 23rd Aug 2010 22:19
other then those remarks the imagery is very good and I and probably the other readers after me will be able to visualize all this easily
115 years, 10 months & 9 days ago 23rd Aug 2010 22:09
I like it
through a poet changes several things when it comes to poems a few things i noticed was that obviously you haven't structured it like a freehand poem, instead of moon you put one in the very first line unless it is supposed to be one as well try to find different words when describing something it helps if you have a broader vocabulary so your not always using the same words
115 years, 10 months & 9 days ago 23rd Aug 2010 22:09
15 years, 10 months & 9 days ago
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