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fotnfatrod

Activity Log

The Tradition (rp)

23rd Aug 2012 20:50

13 years, 11 months & 5 days ago

The Great Library (rp)

8th Aug 2012 21:30

13 years, 11 months & 20 days ago

Blog #309975

15th Jul 2010 16:37

16 years & 15 days ago

COMPLETED TROLL MISSION

2nd Aug 2009 09:59

16 years, 11 months & 28 days ago

A Middle Ages Night Trip...

7th Jun 2009 22:06

17 years, 1 month & 22 days ago

Wilhelm of Wittenberg

7th Jun 2009 22:00

17 years, 1 month & 22 days ago

"I love you"

7th Jun 2009 21:56

17 years, 1 month & 22 days ago

The Nema Files- Prologue

7th Jun 2009 21:52

17 years, 1 month & 22 days ago

Gallery Prices

7th Jun 2009 16:14

17 years, 1 month & 22 days ago

"A Tale of ??nilthain"

7th Jun 2009 13:40

17 years, 1 month & 22 days ago

fotnfatrod 2 Comments

The Nema Files- Prologue

17 years, 1 month & 22 days ago

7th Jun 2009 21:52

Prologue- The Beginning

She fell to the ground once again, the left side of her face stinging in pain. Why were people so cruel? Why couldn???t they pick on someone else? Why couldn???t she be normal like everyone else?

???Come on Nema, get up and fight me,??? a twisted voice taunted from above her. A foot collided with her side and she groaned in pain, fighting the urge to vomit.

???DERICK!???

That must be the monitor, she thought. Slowly she tried to turn on her back or at least to her side, but she found that such an action caused considerable pain.

A pair of rough hands pulled her to her feet. She swayed for a moment, the world spinning as if she had ridden the merry-go-round for hours before she sank to her knees once more. She was aware dimly of a chubby woman about 6 feet tall staring down a young boy her age, shaking her finger at him in warning.

???Derick, what have I told you about fighting people? Haven???t I told you enough times this week alone that fighting will end up with people hurt? How many times must I remind you????

???I???m sorry Ms. Krolihan,??? he muttered gloomily, staring at his shoes.

???This is your last warning: if you attack either Nema or Sapphire one more time, I???ll be notifying your parents.???

The boy looked up at Ms. Krolihan and then over to Nema. A small grin appeared on his face as he watched Nema try to stand once more, only to fail and look as if she might spill her lunch.

???Wipe that smile off your face or I???ll call them now,??? Ms. Krolihan warned in a loud, booming voice.

???It don???t matter none, my parents hate them both just as much as I do,??? he spat before turning around and running off into the school.

Ms. Krolihan sighed deeply, annoyed at the things children learned at home from their parents. The nerve of some of those parents, picking on defenseless children who didn???t even know why most of them felt the way they did. It wasn???t Nema???s fault, the things that had happened. Nor was it Sapphire???s. In fact, very few people knew what really had happened at all. With the exception of a handful of friends of their parents, not a word was breathed on the subject to anyone.

She turned around and helped the little girl to her feet. She didn???t deserve this, the treatment that was given to her. No seven-year-old should have to deal with the things she did. And from what Serrenia had told her, she wouldn???t remember what had happened until she turned 16, a year before Sapphire. That was when the potion???s effect would wear off. Until then, both Nema and Sapphire would grow up a normal life as normal people. That was, as long as others agreed to not blame them for what had occurred. Leading her by the hand, she slowly walked her down to the nurses??? office.

???Ms. Krolihan???? came a muffled whisper from her as she slowly walked down the hall.

???Yes dear, what is it????

???Why does Derick and his parents hate me????

Startled that she would understand what was going on, she didn???t know what to say. Surely the truth must be avoided by all costs, there was no way she would understand in all the worlds. Yet as she listened, she heard the muffled sobs and the small ???drip??? of tears hitting the tile floors. Her heart ached to tell her the truth, yet she had sworn not to do so until she was ready.

???Well... I... uh...??? she started, not really sure how she would avoid telling her.

???Is it because of my parents????

The subtle softness of this plain question again startled Ms. Krolihan, and she began to wonder how much the young child really knew of what had happened that day, now only just over a year ago.

???Is it???? Nema stopped in the middle of the hall and stared up into Ms. Krolihan???s eyes with her soft, big blue ones. Except for the salt tracks that trailed down the sides of her face, you would not have known that she???d been crying, for her eyes were naturally a watery blue. Already her left eye was swelling and becoming a dark bluish black. Ms. Krolihan couldn???t help but smile sadly at her, tears forming in her own eyes. Nema had her father???s eyes; there was no doubt about that.

???I don???t know dear,??? she lied, quickly looking away and blinking out the tears.

Nema remained quiet for about a minute and then slowly began to walk towards the nurses??? office once more.

fotnfatrod

Thanks for reviewing! Actally, the first chapter goes into the details about how she and Sapphire look and behave. This prologue, like any good prologue, was meant to do just what you said it did for you: grabbed your attention, kept it, and made you want to read more.

17 years, 1 month & 16 days ago

13th Jun 2009 19:51

I'd say it's pretty good, it grabbed my attention easily, and kept it. Maybe a little more on what she looks like.

I'm not quite sure on the rating scale you'd like me to use, 5/5 or 10/10?

I'll give it a 4/5, since it kept my attention, which is hard too do most of the time and made me want too read more.

17 years, 1 month & 22 days ago

7th Jun 2009 22:57

Page of 2

The Tradition (rp)

23rd Aug 2012 20:50

13 years, 11 months & 5 days ago

The Great Library (rp)

8th Aug 2012 21:30