This is an ongoing collection of funny quotes I've collected. I've compiled them here in case anyone would like to use them in their siggy (signature). Newer ones are added to the top of the list to make it easier to find them.


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A slinky is like a person - not much use in many ways but puts a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. (submitted by argon87)
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing it doesn't go in a fruit salad. (submitted by emzyem)
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Why are we always doing things "for goodness's sake"? Who is Goodness? What did they ever do for us? (submitted by crazycat777)
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If at first you don't succeed, failure might be your thing. (submitted by lavalamp321)
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Life is hard. After all, it kills you. - Katharine Hepburn (submitted by LilyEvensPotter)
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? (submitted by loveya1234)
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to? (submitted by loveya1234)
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If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. (submitted by loveya1234)
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Love me or leave me. Hey! Where's everybody going?? (submitted by loveya1234)
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It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow. (submitted by loveya1234)
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Why does mineral water "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year? (submitted by loveya1234)
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If you stole a pen from the bank is it classified as a bank robbery? (submitted by loveya1234)
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I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they got closer - then it hit me. (submitted by loveya1234)
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Roses are red, violets are blue. Who cares - so are crayons. (submitted by loveya1234)
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What do you call a female daddy long legs? (submitted by loveya1234)
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Last night I dreamed I ate a ten pound marshmallow and when I woke up the pillow was gone. (submitted by loveya1234)
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Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. (submitted by loveya1234)
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Unite against togetherness! (submitted by loveya1234)
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Quitting smoking is easy - I've done it a hundred times. (submitted by loveya1234)
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Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? (submitted by loveya1234)
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Excuse me, but I think my karma just ran ov

Love is a powerful emotion
But he didn???t deserve you; he gave you no devotion
He cheated on you yet you gave him another chance
And yet you keep falling for the same old song and dance
It???s about time you witnessed true romance


Ok it???s time for you to learn what true love is
You will see it???s nothing like his
Because his love was all show biz
It was all an act
That???s a fact
He only thought of you as a possession
So stop your obsession
Try to think of one of his good traits;
Bet you found none
Let the relationship end, let it be done,
Just walk away; better yet run
And it ain???t too late
Just find another guy
Go on a date
He could just end up being your soul mate
And that???s true, I would never lie
When you find true love, it feels like you can fly
Like your high in the sky, floating on cloud nine
If you never felt like this before
I don???t think you should date him anymore


Love is always timeless
You can???t change this
But this is no time to reminisce about your first kiss
It???s time to move on, no matter how hard it seems
I know it felt like it was all dreams
And now it feels like one big nightmare
But you can???t have fear,
Just think of all the cheer
And you will persevere
Through these hard times
N I???ll do what I can wit my rhymes
So just forget about him
I know things might seem grim
But your future is bright
So girl just shine like the sunlight
N everything will be alright
So just go out and have fun tonight
And you just might find Mr. Right


Love is a powerful emotion
But he didn???t deserve you; he gave you no devotion
He cheated on you yet you gave him another chance
And yet you keep falling for the same old song and dance
It???s about time you witnessed true romance


Love is always timeless
And I have to confess
Your beauty is greater than words can express
So stop dating those shallow guys
You know the ones that only feed you lies
If you want to find the right type of guys, just stare into their eyes
This way you can find a winner, because he won a great prize;
Your affection, and there is no such thing as perfection
But when you???re in love it feels like perfection exists
I hope you find that

Try This. Deadly Accurate.

pretty cool?????????

Now, this is freaky...DO NOT CHEAT (You'll will kick yourself
later) I was a little skeptical trying this, but if you follow the
instructions to the "t" you'll be surprised!!!!

All of my answers were accurate and it was very surprising to see the outcome. We'll see tomorrow if the wish comes true.I'll let you know. Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out! The
person who sent it to me said her wish came true 10 minutes after they read
the mail. BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It takes about three minutes...it's
worth a try

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's
people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.








2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

2 and 17.






3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite .

Petar P and Dimitri





NO LOOKING AHEAD...OR IT WON"T TURN OUT RIGHT!



4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family....) in the 4th, 5th,and 6th
spots.

4th, Stefan, 6th, Jenna, 6th, Sandra.






5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11.

8, we will rock you, 9, Viva la Vida, 10, Crush, 11 is Time of My life






GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!!!




6. Finally, make a wish.

*************************





And now the key for the game.....




1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.






2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.






3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.






4. You care most about the person you put in 4






5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.






6. The person you nam