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AnimeKitty1234
Female Comebacks

female comebacks - I read this and found some of them funny.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
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Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
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Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
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Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
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Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
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Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
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Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today
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Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
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Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
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If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this....
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If you don't resend this then your love life will be [[doomed]] for eternity.
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CHICKS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
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DUDES REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen
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STORY THREE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a girl went to a party and
she ended up staying longer than planned,

and

had to walk home alone. She wasn't
afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she
decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she
noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of
quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.
She agreed and immediately pointed out the manshe had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been
seen and identified he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on both sides of her."
~~~~~
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God?
Repost this as (your city) if you truly believe in God..

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what.

"If you deny me in front of your friends, I shall deny you in
front of my
Father"
STAND UP FOR HIM

98% wont post this are you part of the 2% that will????????
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I dont believe this, but i got chill bumps ....... A SCARY WAY TO BREAK UP!!!!! DO NOT stop reading this or something bad will happen!!!!!!!! One day, Sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend drove by and honked at her to get in. She got in his car and he drove her to the lake. Her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important. Sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. However, he flicked her off, pushed her in the lake and yelled, "I am breaking up with you, you awful .......!! I hate you and I think that maybe you should just end your .............. life! DUMB ....................!!!" He laughed and drove off. It was a very cold day. Sarah climbed out of the lake, freezing cold, and feeling the worst she had in her entire life. She got home went in a hot bath, and slit her wrists and died in the bathtub. Her parents yelled and screamed at her to get out until they finally broke the door down. They saw no body, but the entire bathroom was dripping with her blood. Her mom went insane and killed herself three days later, her dad is in prison, accused of murder. Later that week, Sarah's exboyfriend was taking a shower when she came from the drain, rotting and bloody, with a razor in her hand and said "Goodbye Jason." She cut his throat before he could scream. If you do not repost this with the title "1 scary way to break up", you are a heartless ..............and Sarah come to you in the shower from the drain, and will kill you the same way she killed her boyfriend. 24 ppl have broken this chain and died you have 13 minutes!
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