8/2/2012
Appreciate the mutual love, because I know I would give anything to feel such a love.
I felt the urge to write my story... or you can call it my diary.
I have loved many times, but never was the love reciprocated. Hence why Valentines day has never had a place in my heart.
Yet as of today, I have been feeling the butterflies in my stomach for nearly 2 years. School is the place where it all began.
It's always been hard on me to face him, it makes it even harder because we're friends: I'm close to him, yet I am far from him.
I know our friendship is strong enough if I were to confess my feelings for him, I do have the courage to tell him, but what I don't have is a reason: the little things about him and the way he treats me give away that he doesn't feel the same about me, so I have no reason to confess because
I already know his answer and he would probably wonder why I told him when I have no reason to.
Nevertheless, I really do want to tell him; I want to let all the feelings inside me out.
We're in the same class and this is our last year, I'm in two minds whether I should tell him or not, but I am leaning towards telling him before the end of this year.

He's definitely not perfect, but as time passed by, I came to see him as a perfect person in my eyes. The laughter and amazing moments we have had up until now are so beautiful and yet so painful to remember.
I am genuinely happy when I am around him, my laughter feels real instead of fake. We share a lot of interest in the same things, yet we don't. So we differ somehow from each other.

They say that you should love and be yourself, and only yourself, but I do not. Every time he crosses my mind, I wish I was that exact girl who he would love and cherish like a lover.
I tried to act like his ex-girlfriend which is also a good friend of mine, because I craved that much for his attention.
There were and are times when I wish to be her. I cannot understand why they split up, though they are still sort of friends.
In my eyes whenever I see them talking, I find them a perfect match and then suddenly I feel that I can never receive his love, I feel that I do not have the right to love a guy like him.
Is it more painful to never love or to never be loved back? I would go for the latter.

The most important thing is that your partner sees more