I got this from /lexy020who got it from Sophietom/


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4.Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound broccoli is sooo and ask for a date.

13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.

16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.

18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.

21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.

22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."

24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

26. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.

28. Ask people what gender they are.