female comebacks - I read this and found some of them funny.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
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Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
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Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
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Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
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Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
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Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
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Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today
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Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
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Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
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If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this....
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If you don't resend this then your love life will be [[doomed]] for eternity.
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CHICKS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
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DUDES REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen

> >>> >a girl went to a party and
> >>> >
> >>> >she ended up staying longer than
> >>> >
> >>> >planned,
> >>> >
> >>> >and
> >>> >
> >>> >had to walk home alone. She wasn't
> >>> >
> >>> >afraid
> >>> >
> >>> >because it was a small town and she lived
> >>> >
> >>> >only
> >>> >
> >>> >a
> >>> >
> >>> >few blocks away.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >As she walked along under the tall elm
> >>> >
> >>> >trees,
> >>> >
> >>> >Diane asked God to keep her safe from
> >>> >
> >>> >harm
> >>> >
> >>> >and
> >>> >
> >>> >danger.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >When she reached the alley, which was a
> >>> >
> >>> >short
> >>> >
> >>> >cut to her house, she
> >>>decided to take it.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >However, halfway down the alley she
> >>> >
> >>> >noticed
> >>> >
> >>> >a
> >>> >
> >>> >man standing at the end as though he
> >>> >
> >>> >were
> >>> >
> >>> >waiting
> >>> >
> >>> >for her.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >She became uneasy and began to pray,
> >>> >
> >>> >asking
> >>> >
> >>> >for
> >>> >
> >>> >God's protection.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >Instantly a comforting feeling of
> >>> >quietness
> >>> >
> >>> >and
> >>> >
> >>> >security wrapped round her, she felt as
> >>> >
> >>> >though
> >>> >
> >>> >someone was walking with her.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >When she reached the end of the alley,
> >>> >
> >>> >she
> >>> >
> >>> >walked right past the man and arrived
> >>> >
> >>> >home
> >>> >
> >>> >safely.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >The following day, she read in
> >>>the
> >>> >
> >>> >newspaper
> >>> >
> >>> >that
> >>> >
> >>> >a young girl had been in the same
> >>> >
> >>> >alley
> >>> >
> >>> >just
> >>> >
> >>> >twenty minutes after she had been there.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
> >>> >
> >>> >the
> >>> >
> >>> >fact
> >>> >
> >>> >that it could have been her, she began to
> >>> >
> >>> >weep.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
> >>> >
> >>> >help
> >>> >
> >>> >this
> >>> >
> >>> >young woman, she decided to go to the
> >>> >
> >>> >police
> >>> >
> >>> >station.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >She felt she could recognize the man, so
> >>> >
> >>> >she
> >>> >
> >>> >told
> >>> >
> >>> >them her story.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >The police asked her if she would
> >>> >
> >>> >be willing to look
> >>> >
> >>> >at a lineup to see if she could identify
> >>> >
> >>> >him.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >She agreed and immediately pointed out
> >>> >
> >>> >the man she had seen in the alley the night before.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >When the man was told he had been
> >>> >
> >>> >identified,
> >>> >
> >>> >he
> >>> >
> >>> >immediately broke down and confessed.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
> >>> >
> >>> >and
> >>> >
> >>> >asked if there was anything they could do
> >>> >
> >>> >for
> >>> >
> >>> >her.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >She asked if they would ask the man one
> >>> >
> >>> >question.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >Diane was curious as to why he had not
> >>> >
> >>> >attacked
> >>> >
> >>> >her.
> >>> >
> >>> >When the policeman asked him, he
> >>> >
> >>> >answered, "Because she wasn't
> >>> >alone.
> >>> >
> >>> >She had
> >>> >
> >>> >two tall men walking on both sides of
> >>> >
> >>> >her."
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
> >>> >
> >>> >you're
> >>> >
> >>> >never
> >>> >alone. Did you know that 98% of
> >>> >
> >>> >teenagers
> >>> >
> >>> >will not stand up for God?
> >>> >
> >>> >Repost this if you truly
> >>> >
> >>> >believe
> >>> >
> >>> >in
> >>> >
> >>> >God..
> >>> >
> >>> >PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you
> >>> >no matter what
> >>> >
> >>> >"If you deny me in front of your friends, I shall
> >>> >deny you in
> >>> >front of my
> >>> >Father"
> >>> >
> >>> >STAND UP FOR HIM
> >>> >
> >>> >98% wont post this
> >>> >
> >>> >are you part of the 2% that will????????
> >>> >

STUPID JERK!!!!!!!!!!!

> > > repost as 'No girl deserves this'

> > > Girl:I have to tell you something.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: What?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm
> > > falling in love with you.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: Ok...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: What do you mean 'ok'?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: I don't like you like that...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: Why not?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: I can't tell you... maybe another time...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > From then on, the girl kept asking the boy 'Why
> > > not?' whenever she saw him, and he kept answering
> > > the same answer of 'I'll tell you later.' Finally
> > > the girl got fed up.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like
> > > me!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: Do you really wanna know why?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: Yes!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: It's because you're uglier than ANYTHING!
> > > What's the point of going out with someone when
> > > they're not pretty?!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: But... I...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > The boy leaves and the girl is sitting there alone,
> > > crying her heart out... Then her cell phone rings.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: Hello?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to go home, ok? I'l l be
> > > home from work in a few hours.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: Alright Mom.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Mom: I love you.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: I love you too, Mom.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Mom: Bye Bye.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: Bye
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > The girl heads home and once she got there, she went
> > > in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Girl: I'm not pretty enough...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > She set to work, knowing fully well what she was
> > > going to do. 2 hours later, her Mom came home and
> > > heard the bath water running. She went upstairs to
> > > find the hallway flooded so she knocked on the door.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Mom: Honey? Are you alright?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > She opened the door and was shocked at the site. The
> > > bath was overflowing onto the floor, and the water
> > > was tinted red. She walked over to see what was
> > > inside and screamed. There, her little girl was
> > > lying with cuts all over her f ace and wrists. Her
> > > Mom backed away and was going to run to call the
> > > police when something caught her eye. On the mirror,
> > > am I pretty enough now?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > No one deserves to be told that by someone they
> > > love. If you find it messed up then forward this to
> > > everyone you know.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > A person's appearance doesn't count. What counts is
> > > their heart inside of them and their personality. No
> > > one wants to be told they're not good enough...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Repost this in 5 Min or something bad will happen 2
> > > U tomorrow