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something 20 Comments
READ THIS. IT'S AWESOME. SRSLY.
17 years, 2 months & 4 days ago
29th Apr 2009 20:00

Plot: An angel named Elyse, along with several of her friends, are trying to stop the attacks of the fallen angels, for if any Gaurdian Angel dies, it's element it guards will also die. But Elyse has a problem...she might be falling in love with a fallen angel.

---Epiologue---

The girl paced down the street, the sun scanning the horizon. Her gold tennis shoes gleamed slightly by the hot evening sun, and her eyes examined the steet. The girl's chocolate brown hair looked like warm, melting chocolate. That girl was me. Over 1,000 years ago. I was an Angel Sensor. For millions of years, Angel Sensor's has been placed across the globe. They can sense when angels are present, and can sense if the angel is up to good, or evil. But one night, when the moon glistened over the Crystal Sea, the prophocy had been set. And so had my fate. The angels, with wings as bright as dawn, leaked light brighter than the moon. The dark, ebony night was know like it was in a pure summer day. "Hello, Elyse." The angels said. Their voices rang like beautiful soprano voices, but, at the same time, also sent shivers down my spine. They smiled sweetly, and I knew what was happening. I believed in angels all my life. And right now, I was becoming one.

The angels lightly held onto my arms. It was an unbelievable experience. The angels flapped their feather wings and soared against the moon and the stars, until we reached a cloud city. Angels, actually, don't fly much unless they have to. Most of them were walking casually down the cloud-streets, talking normally, you know, they really aren't different. Except for the facts they have wings. And they have gifts. And they are immortal. They brought me over to stand made out of pure gold, with the words "Angelus Ceremony" in big, white letters, and the words "Sententia must recive pennae in plenus luna" underneth it. Suddenly, the all the angels gathered around. I shifted my eyes back and forth, and I laughed nervously as I pushed my weight to my other leg. The angels started chanting something in latin, and I stood there, completely dumbfounded. A brown, dusty, book sat on the stand, and suddenly, a burst of light shot through the pearl on the cover. My wings. I was receiving wings. It actually wasn't very painful. I mean, for some strange reason, I always expected it to be painful. But gracefully, my wings started appearing. People started gasping. My wings covered my body, glowing rainbow. "Oh my!" An angel said under her breath. "Unbelievable..." Another angel said. "Uh...?" I questioned. "Your wings, deary," An angel behind me squeaked from behind me. I did realize something different. My wings were faintly glowing rainbow, with large pure, white feather surrounding me in light. All the other wings were average sized, just enough to touch arm span, while mine went about two feet more, and covered most of my back.

"That's...amazing." People started gasping. "The queen!" A man shouted. "Mademe Lianna," All angels bowed, then stared at me. "Oh...right." I bowed my head to, and came up about 10 second later after everyone else came up. The queen laughed quietly and bowed in return. "I've never seen such amazing wings," The queen pointed out. Her wings were lovely too, but not half as gorgeous as mine. She smiled. "And now welcoming, are new Guardian Angel of Spirit, Elyse!" The queen said, and people started laughing.

"Wait." I said, out of the blue. People stopped and stared at me in confusion. "Yes, Miss. Elyse?" The queen said with question marked over her face. "What is a 'Guardian Angel of Spirit'?" I said, staring at the ground. All the angels started laughing, including the queen. Yeah, sure. Laugh at the new 'Guardian Angel of Spirit', whatever that is. "The Guardian Angel of Spirit," The queen said with power in her voice. "Is the...holder of all elements." She said, touching her face. "And...That means...?" I asked. More laughs. "It means, you can control all elements." Wait. Had she just said that? Just this morning I couldn't even control the T.V. now I control all the elements? I laughed, and then became serious. "How..?" I asked. The queen sighed, obviously a little annoyed at me. "Because you are...special." The queen said more of a question than a statement. "Okay. Sweet." I said. Then left, walking, with all the angels still staring amazed.

---CHAPTER 1; THE ATTACK---

The clouds lingering above earth were light and fluffy, a few darker than others. In the Angel Realm, this was like the Angels. A few were pure, a few were...not so...pure.

A girl layed down on a comfy cloud, shifting her feet side to side over the edge of the cloud. It was like touching the stars itself. Her wings were covering her body; which was lean and proportionate. Her smile was like light was captured in her teeth.

The girl lightly bounced up, her curls springing around. Her name was Elyse, one of the youngest, yet most gifted angels. Elyse breathed in big, and let it out. "Hmm..." Elyse said, noticing a star was out of place. She flitted towards the edge of the cloud, hopped, and was soaring lightly across the sky. To earth, this looked like a shooting star. Elyse tipped the star back to place, and flew back.

The sky was a gradient of deep, navy blue, and a light, almost white, blue. But suddenly, the sky turned black. "An eclipse?" Elyse muttered to herself. "No...an eclipse was yesterday...could it b-" Elyse shuddred. "Of course!" She shouted, already sprinting across the clouds. She bursted through the golden gates, and walked up to the Queen of Angels, Mademe Lianna. "Madame?" Elyse said low and quick. Madame Lianna knew what was happening, for her eyes turned dark. "Fallen Angels?" Mademe Lianna said with an edge. "Yes," Elyse said, shooting her eyes across the room.

"Quickly!" Mademe Lianna shouted. Suddenly, SWAT Angel teams flew into the door. They had Magic-proof vests on, and each one had steel wings. Elyse gasped, but Mademe Lianna ignored. "Go, find them!" Both Mademe Lianna and Elyse said. The SWAT team left in a split second.

The fallen angels looked dirty and grungy. They each had big, black wings, and black cold eyes. They had a rough, raspy voices, and often laugh that booms. But one angel had caught Elyse's attention. He had a very muscular body, along with wild black hair. His eyes, although he was a fallen angel, were deep crimson red. His fangs were long and pointy, and he was wearing nothing but a pair of jeans.

The angels all lined up, weapons out, wings behind them, ready to attack. The fallen angels bared their teeth, and most of the SWAT team, including Elyse, cringed at the fangs that had blood dripping from the tips. Elyse's hair was up into a messy bun, and her wings shone with brilliance. In comparison with the fallen angels wings, the Gaurdian angels wings were feathery and white, each with its own unique glow.

"Ready," The fallen angel said. She must of been the leader, and, like all but the other fallen angel, had black eyes full of hate. Her voice was a lot lighter than expected, and her face looked almost feline. She lunged at a SWAT team member, whose arm suddenly started gushing blood. The leader licked her lips while the others started attcking.

It was a bloodshed, and, as much as the SWAT team members tried to attack, they could only defend themselves. "That's is impossible!" One SWAT team member said, reffering to a scratch on his wing. The wings were hard and steel, and only 1/100 angels were able to put a scratch it.

Elsye averted her eyes to the team. Their eyes, once light and jovial, were filled with a hatred rare for such a beautiful species. The queen was confused. Even though they weren't the friendliest creatures, they never really picked a fight.

---CHAPTER 2; SPELL---

The spell, known as the Magick to the angels, was an undefinable power, which held control of all the angels of earth. The fallen angels have been attacking, non-stop, once they figured out the Gaurdian Angels had it.

Elyse and Mademe Lianna both knew of this spell, but others were clueless. "Magic spirit," Elyse chanted. "Please bring us the power. We need to fight. We need to keep earth safe." Elyse began her ritual. She put her hands like she was praying. The stars began to turn rainbow. "Caelitus ut terra , nos must servo. Pro nos es gaurdians. Nos es tutela of totus," Elyse said. A burst of light from her hand shot up into the sky. The fallen angels quickly moved back down to hell.
But one angel stayed.
It was the angel with the red eyes.
And for some strange, vile, reason, Elyse was attracted to him.

---CHAPTER 3; THE TRUTH---

"Elyse! That was a very risky move," The queen was rambling. Again. "Yes, yes, I know, I know. 'I should never do that again'." Elyse mocked. The queen was frustrated, but Elyse kept pushing it. "Listen, Elyse." Something about Mademe Lianna's tone was different. "You need to stop. I know what is happening," The queen walked towards the pure gold desk, opened up the drawer, and shuffled through some documents. Her eyes scanned across each and every word, until, after a few minutes of awkward silence, she pulled out a peice of paper.

"You see, Elyse," The queen pointed to a chart. "This happens often. Fallen Angels some how possess...oh...how do I put it-" She pondered for a second, drumming her finger against her jaw. "they are able to...attract...other angels. I think that's the case with you, Elyse." The queen half smiled. "What?" Elyse exclaimed, almost falling out of her seat. "Y-you think...I'm in...l-l-love with...with that?" Elyse stammered. The queen looked around to her bodygaurds, each were trying hard not to burst out laughing. My wings ruffled, as my jaw flexed. "But...but..." Elyse said, pointing to the chart. "How? Hmm? How-I mean...why do you think that is so? Do you have any proof?" Elyse stuck a finger towards the queen. The queen just laughed silently and said "Of course. I saw the way you were looking at him. So did everyone else." The bodygaurds face fell, expecting me to blow up at them. I took a deep breath, and said slowly and carefully, just so the queen would understand, "Listen. I don't like...him. Never will." My voice sounded confident. "Mmmhmmm," The queen said, agreeing. Suddenly, she took a step forward. "And who are you trying to fool, Elyse? Me, or you?"

Elyse laughed nervously. "Um...No one?" Wrong answer. Elyse thought. "Yes...quite." The king came strolling out, his caramel hair looking shimmering lightly. He looked quite young, actually. He said he was only about 27 when he was transformed. Unlike me. I was transformed when I was 14.

His blue eyes pierced my brown eyes with intensity. He laughed quietly to himself and became sat down next to the queen. He was...expecting something. "Oh....oh! Right." I nervously bowed to the king, smiling fakely. "King James?" Elyse said nervously. The whole SWAT team already left once the king entered, but the private gaurds always followed the kind. "Yes, my dearest Elyse." He smiled, as he and the queen rose grandly from their thrones. "I think this meeting is done, Miss Elyse?" The king said with an edge. The queen shot me a bitter look. She always got that way when the king was around.

The kings wings hugged the queens, and they walked ---danced--- out of the room. Which left me in an awkward silence. Alone. With my thoughts already eating up my mind, I quickly jumped out of my seat and exited.
--------------
Should I continue?

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long long story i took 1 hour readin it
Bronze Shield 117 years, 1 month & 12 days ago 22nd May 2009 09:52
 
Make the chapters A LOT longer.
If you finished this and it was published, Spell wouldn't even be a page long.

Really good otherwise ;D
Bronze Shield 117 years, 1 month & 24 days ago 10th May 2009 07:16
 
sure, awesome story!!!!! I like it.
Bronze Shield 117 years, 1 month & 27 days ago 7th May 2009 13:09
 
"You see, Elyse," The queen pointed to a chart withab flourish. "This happens often. Fallen Angels some how possess...oh...how shall I put it-" She pondered over the words for a second, drumming her finger against her jaw. "they are able to...attract...other angels. I think that's the case with you, Elyse." The queen half smiled. "What?" Elyse exclaimed, almost falling out of her seat. "Y-you think...I'm in...l-l-love with...with that?" Elyse stammered, with a disgusted look on her pretty face. The queen looked around to her bodygaurds, each were trying hard not to burst out laughing. My wings ruffled, as my fingers instinctively curled intoa menacing fist . "But...but..." Elyse said, pointing to the chart. "How? Hmm? How-I mean...why do you think that is so? Do you have any proof?" Elyse stuck a finger towards the queen. The queen just laughed silently and said "Of course. I saw the way you were looking at him. So did everyone else." The bodygaurds faces fell, expecting me to blow up at them. I took a deep breath, and said slowly and carefully, just so the queen would understand, "Listen. I don't like...him. Never will." My voice sounded confident. "Mmmhmmm," The queen said, agreeing. Suddenly, she took a step forward. "And who are you trying to fool, Elyse? Me, or you?"
Bronze Shield 117 years & 2 months ago 3rd May 2009 17:03
 
His blue eyes pierced my brown eyes with intensity. He laughed quietly to himself and became sat down next to the queen. He was...expecting something. "Oh....oh! Right." I nervously bowed to the king, smiling fakely. "King James?" Elyse said nervously. The whole SWAT team already left once the king entered, but the private gaurds always followed the kind. "Yes, my dearest Elyse." He smiled, as he and the queen rose grandly from their thrones. "I think this meeting is done, Miss Elyse?" The king said with an edge. The queen shot me a bitter look. She always got that way when the king was around.

I kind of added to that... to amke it pretty.
Bronze Shield 117 years & 2 months ago 3rd May 2009 17:00
 
yes continue!
Bronze Shield 117 years & 2 months ago 3rd May 2009 16:23
 
Lovely.
Longer chapters, tho. :]
But great description, and voice.
Bronze Shield 117 years, 2 months & 1 day ago 2nd May 2009 15:52
 
Caelitus ut terra , nos must servo. Pro nos es gaurdians. Nos es tutela of totus
---
this should be
"caelitus ut terra, debes nos servare. nam sumus guardii. sumus tuteli de totis"

if i got your meaning right.
Bronze Shield 117 years, 2 months & 1 day ago 2nd May 2009 11:41
 
It's amazing. I really like it.
But you should make each chapter longer, for when you publish it, if you publish it, each chapter will be barely 2/3/4 pages.
Bronze Shield 117 years, 2 months & 2 days ago 1st May 2009 22:58
 
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