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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Uzmutt

Activity Log

Retired stamps for retired stamps

30th Jun 2015 09:05

11 years & 4 days ago

Second half of Missing Gourmet Foods

22nd Jan 2015 11:47

11 years, 5 months & 10 days ago

Half of my Missing Gourmet Foods

20th Jan 2015 09:22

11 years, 5 months & 12 days ago

Quest and mission help

28th Mar 2011 22:27

15 years, 3 months & 6 days ago

Lurve avatar

13th Feb 2009 11:54

17 years, 4 months & 18 days ago

Wishlist

13th Nov 2008 20:56

17 years, 7 months & 18 days ago

Snowman Quests and Pumpkin Hunt 08

29th Oct 2008 10:49

17 years, 8 months & 4 days ago

Desmond's Funeral 9-19-08

19th Sep 2008 22:52

17 years, 9 months & 13 days ago

Snowman Quests and Pumpkin Hunt

7th Oct 2007 17:15

18 years, 8 months & 27 days ago

Current Marapets Goals

11th Jun 2007 22:29

19 years & 23 days ago

Uzmutt 12 Comments

Desmond's Funeral 9-19-08

17 years, 9 months & 13 days ago

19th Sep 2008 22:52

Warning- this is long and sad, and I'm just pouring out my heart.
On Wed. night Sept. 17th, 2008. I found out some good friends of mine, Matt and Emily, lost there son,Desmond, just as she was to give birth to him. A senseless, and horrible loss.

I've been crying all day. They had an open casket. He looked like he was sleeping. Perfect little hands. Chubby cheeks. He had his arms next to head just like the way my son used to sleep. The casket was just a little longer than your average cooler.

I got inline to view Desmond, and say a word to Matt and Emily.I tried to say something or anything to them, but just started sobbing on Matt's shoulder.
I managed to choke out that he was beautiful and that I was so sorry. I was the only guest to lose it.
I left the sanctuary, and completely did the loud crying uncontrollable sobbing into my husbands shoulders.The kind where you can't control your breathing. I tried to be strong for them, and failed miserably.

They had each read letters they wrote to Desmond. Emily's first sound she heard after giving birth was Matt crying out. They held him for 3 hours. Just wishing and hoping and praying that breath would come into his body. Matt would have given his life so that his son could live.
A senseless loss. To a couple who didn't deserve it.

We went to the grave site, and I watched as they lowered him into the ground. The family put roses on the casket, and Matt shoveled the dirt onto the casket. It was so heart wrenching.
After that people began to go back to the church. Again I tried to say something, anything, instead I sobbed again.

Afterwords was a lunch. And my husband and I stayed till there was almost no one but family left.
And finally I was able to say what I wanted to say, and then I sobbed.
I told them I didn't understand the depths of their pain, my miscarriage didn't begin to compare. But I knew I had needed to talk. And sometimes I'd wake up late at night, and had no one. I told Emily, even at 2 in the morning, I was there to listen. She was Not to be afraid of waking anyone up, or inconveniencing me. 2 am, middle of the day. I have no advice to give, but I listen very well.
And that she might get to a point where, the people around her may not want to talk about her pain anymore, because they don't understand. I told her, in that regard I do. And that she can talk to me 1000 times, and I would still listen even more.
And the only suggestion I made was to get a support group. I didn't have one after Gabriel was born, and wish I had.

I continue to cry. My heart is so heavy. I'm taking this so badly.
I was so excited for the precious gift of joy they were supposed to have, and how it has turned into such a nightmare.
I didn't cry this much when I had the miscarriage. I haven't cried this much since my son was born.
The sobbing urges keep trying to break out. But I hold them back.

I can't stop asking why. Why like this? If God wanted Desmond so badly, why not 4 months earlier? Why not 6 months from now in a car crash? Why now? Why like this? To take him on the eve that they were to meet their son? To give birth to him already dead?

Uzmutt

Thank you to everyone who had read and posted ad for your sympathy. Hard to believe it's been 2 1/2 years already. I still get sad when I think about it. This time was very dark for me. Matt and Emily still miss there son, but happy news. They tried again (more courageous than I could ever be) And welcomed a beautiful 2nd son who is going on 7 months old now.

I will always wonder why God would allow a baby to be injured in the place where he should be the safest. I've read a few books on the subject, and those have helped.

So thank you again for the kind words, and for allowing me time to openly grieve.

15 years, 3 months & 6 days ago

28th Mar 2011 22:37

I'm so sorry to hear this. I feel so bad for them even though it's been a year, I know it must still hurt them and you as well! I hope you guys find comfort in each other. I cried when I read this. The only person I've heard of that has given birth to a stillborn child was my grandmother. She gave birth to twin girls, and one of them was stillborn-one of my aunts. The doctors tried telling her that she only had 1 child but she knew and they finally told her about the stillborn child.

16 years, 9 months & 14 days ago

19th Sep 2009 06:59

Uzmutt

Thanks everyone.

17 years, 4 months & 25 days ago

6th Feb 2009 12:48

Aww this was so sad!

To me, the worst pain of anything you would experience is life would be losing your child, whether you got to know them or not.

My mom used to say that God had plans for those he took early. I know as mere people that is sometimes hard to imagine but it can sometimes provide comfort.

17 years, 5 months & 19 days ago

14th Jan 2009 00:46

I'm sorry

My adoptive parents had a baby that died the same way.His name was Hayden.That is why they chose to adopt me and my brother.They didn't want to go through it again.

17 years, 5 months & 25 days ago

7th Jan 2009 16:21

I am so sorry. Not only to them, but to you and your family. I would love to ensure full lives, but, unfortunatly, I cannot.

I'm sorry...

17 years, 6 months & 3 days ago

29th Dec 2008 06:01

this is so very sad, and makes me realize how lucky I was, my first child almost died and I tend to take it for granted that he made it, here I am about to give birth to my 3rd child and suddenly find myself SCARED to death....

Im so sorry about your friends loss and for you loss as well, I hope they are able to pull their selves back up and keep their family together...Trying times can really take its toll on a happy family

A childs life that is taken is so sad...Why not take the ones that have lived their lives and arent treating it the way it should be treated (rapist, murders...etc)...

17 years, 7 months & 6 days ago

25th Nov 2008 12:32

17 years, 7 months & 21 days ago

10th Nov 2008 15:07

I can't say anything. But i wish them all the best. D: I can't really say anything.

17 years, 8 months & 11 days ago

22nd Oct 2008 21:35

Oh, one of the things I feared in all my pregnancies. I imagined it being dark like a pitch dark night, so dark that not even the moon makes a difference. It must be like falling into an abyss. Then losing all consciousness and going into deep sleep. The type of sleep I wouldn't want to wake up from. I pray for all three of mine for God to protect them. I bet it hurts the same even when you have memories with them, even though the pain is so great people will say is the worst. Because it is in any circumstance. Every grieving parent knows what it is like and I don't wish it on my worst enemy. Nobody deserves to lose their child.