Silly things said in newspapers

all are real
1. get 50% off or half price, whichever is less
2. fish need water, feds say
3. alton attorney accidentally sues himself
4. county to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds
5. utah poison control reminds everyone not to take poison
6. police were called to market square for a report about a "suspicious coin." investagating officer reported it was a quarter.