Hewo, click here!
Wait, don’t click. Seriously. I pity you. Tell me who sent you here and I’ll burn ‘em to bits toss a steak to their face with my teeth. Still there? I promise you! You will NOT enjoy the tales of nCoV1. Actually, I shrunk it to, I dunno, 20 words? The point is, you’re wasting your time here. nCoV1 is dedicated to eatin’ and drinkin’, not talkin’ to an audience! So if you don’t mind, leave before I toss the steak to YOUR face. Interested in reading? Read my wishlist then. It’s much shorter.
***NCOV1 WISHLIST***
-all the sodas
-all the smoothies
-all the candies
-all the chocolate
-Fine. Read on by clicking. But don’t come back. Hello. I am the original nCoV1. I’m a Diplo-something. What’s the word? Right. Diplocaulus. I think that’s a mouthful. I’ll just say Yakubi. Don’t like? Well, haters gonna hate!
Why ARE you here anyway?! You see, I am busy. Or should I say…my OWNER is busy. Busy doin’ a quest to give me some snacks. You know those crunchy, well-made Double Chocolate Hearts? And those tasty, melt-in-your-mouth Frozen Sausages? Ooh, I almost forgot about the Four Cheese Pizza that suddenly arrives at your doorstep. And don’t get me started on those smoothies and sodas—I think I drank 10 of them in the last 24 hours! You can never have too many!
Some creatures might say I’m spoiled, impatient, and the secret Yakubi the Obese Fairy owned before. But that’s NOT true! I just don’t want to seem like past me. I used to be a Barracuda! Or a clumsy Paffuto! I drank too much—55 smoothies and 40 sodas—and just hit my head and passed out! That’s what the doctor said anyway. Then I magically turned into a Yakubi! I know! Plain ol’ magic! So next time you see me, think twice before judging my habits. Oh wait, you won’t see me next time.
Secret code: 24420202226